Why Did I Do It?
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10
That is the question that came into my mind as I lay in the bed one night.
It’s was after twelve a.m. and I was looking through a FaceBook home school group, that I am a part of online. As I scrolled down and read through the posts, they were one heartbreaking post after another. I read as much as I could without giving in to the disappointment in what I was seeing. Mom, after mom, after mom, complaining about what was wrong with their children, themselves and their homeschooling method of choice. That's when the question hit me and I had to stop and ask myself… WHY? Why did I start homeschooling?
Curiosity first captured my interest in homeschooling way back in about 2004. I can’t say for sure what led me to this idea, it had to be the Holy Spirit, but I remember researching and digging into how homeschooling worked. I ended up with a bunch of papers and information on homeschooling but dared not do it. Well, as it turned out, I tried to convince a friend of mine to home school her child using the information that I had gathered but she didn't run with it, so there I was, stuck with all my homeschooling info, that I was not able to “pawn” off on her.
The truth was I was paralyzed by fear and doubt. Surely I was incapable of homeschooling my children. I was not smart enough or educated enough after all she had a bachelors degree – I didn’t.
After that mini rejection of my homeschooling idea, I tucked it away neatly in a corner, never to be remembered again, yet I remembered. As the years passed, and I started to learn the word of God, I realized that I had a duty to perform as a believer. To train up my children in the way they should go. It wouldn’t let me rest. Through years of PTA and SLT meetings and hoping for something greater than what was happening, it kept getting progressively worse.
In 2009 after years of running, trying to forget homeschooling and constant nudging from the Holy Spirit I made up my mind to home school. This time, though there was another frustration or reason for me doing so – I had NO peace.
I was frustrated with public school, the process, the pressure for books and uniforms and “things”, the changing of outfit every six months and having to figure this out for three children at a time along with a baby. I was very overwhelmed and I had no peace. I panicked and stressed out over “school” every four to six months as the seasons changed.
I was frustrated with public school, the process, the pressure for books and uniforms and “things”, the changing of outfit every six months and having to figure this out for three children at a time along with a baby. I was very overwhelmed and I had no peace. I panicked and stressed out over “school” every four to six months as the seasons changed.
It took me all of 2009 to brace myself for homeschooling the following school year. I kept putting the bug in the ear of anyone who would listen and looked to see their reactions.
The last two weeks of school pushed me over the top and there I was, September 2010 our first homeschooling year… oh boy! In panic and fear, I braved the winds of change that were blowing my way. I had no “money” to buy a fancy curriculum and had one not so great computer. As we forged on into homeschooling waters, we weathered the storms of rebellion and resistant children, skeptical family members, crossed eyed church family and one very supportive first-grade teacher, who gave me as many books as she could to help jump start my journey.
The last two weeks of school pushed me over the top and there I was, September 2010 our first homeschooling year… oh boy! In panic and fear, I braved the winds of change that were blowing my way. I had no “money” to buy a fancy curriculum and had one not so great computer. As we forged on into homeschooling waters, we weathered the storms of rebellion and resistant children, skeptical family members, crossed eyed church family and one very supportive first-grade teacher, who gave me as many books as she could to help jump start my journey.
Seven years later as I think about my why this is my answer:
1. I was led by the Holy Spirit to do so.
2. It is my desire to manifest the power of God in my life and the lives of my family members
3. To make known HIS ability to see me through, no matter what.
4. I strongly believe it is the best thing to do for my children.
That is my WHY.
I am grateful for the peace that homeschooling has brought me as a mother and the many, many lessons I have learned along the way.
No, it wasn’t and isn’t easy and we have a lot of drama, but God gets the glory out of it all. So before you sit and complain about your task of homeschooling, ask yourself WHY? Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of why you did it in the first place and if your motive and answer do not glorify God then I would say to you, please go back to your home school summit and ask the Lord to purify your heart and your motive for homeschooling.
1. I was led by the Holy Spirit to do so.
2. It is my desire to manifest the power of God in my life and the lives of my family members
3. To make known HIS ability to see me through, no matter what.
4. I strongly believe it is the best thing to do for my children.
That is my WHY.
I am grateful for the peace that homeschooling has brought me as a mother and the many, many lessons I have learned along the way.
No, it wasn’t and isn’t easy and we have a lot of drama, but God gets the glory out of it all. So before you sit and complain about your task of homeschooling, ask yourself WHY? Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of why you did it in the first place and if your motive and answer do not glorify God then I would say to you, please go back to your home school summit and ask the Lord to purify your heart and your motive for homeschooling.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
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